Maybe I'm just bitter because I've been single for like my whole life. Maybe. Or maybe I'm a lady with a sense of occasion who knows how shit should go down and how it should absolutely never - under any circumstances - go down.
Here (below) we have a marriage proposal set-up for a local Huntsville, AL news anchor. She's reading a prompter telling her there is "breaking news" and you can guess the rest. Sounds super romantic. It isn't. It's so awkward and uncomfortable I want to cringe and die and then come back to life and slap this man for not thinking this through more thoroughly.
I'm sure this would all be very sweet seeming (to them) if they'd done it alone. And they'd tell the story and everyone would be all, "Aaaaawwww" and whatever. But now that'll never happen, because we all saw it and it was total shit.
If you insist on a public proposal (which, I'm not at all opposed to), you must remember you are, essentially, producing a bit of theater. Think that shit through!!! The quelle surprise moment is not the only thing you have to plan here! Your audience deserves more than a bang-up intro followed by a mediocre show and a fizzle of an ending (that sentence, by the way, can double as my review for Julie Taymor's The Lion King). Moreover, what does this say as far as a foreshadowing of your life together?!?! Not to mention you're clearly terrible at sexing.
So. No pressure, you guys. But don't fuck this shit up by going all gung-fucking-ho on a proposal surprise then muttering out a few cliches about waking up ever day together followed by weight-shifting-stand-aroundery where we're all expecting you (and, frankly, her) to say, "Dear God, IS IT OVER??" You need to propose the house down! Or just do it privately so you can both tell everyone it was the most sweepingly romantic thing the universe has ever witnessed and we'll all believe you because what the fuck do we know?
Here (below) we have a marriage proposal set-up for a local Huntsville, AL news anchor. She's reading a prompter telling her there is "breaking news" and you can guess the rest. Sounds super romantic. It isn't. It's so awkward and uncomfortable I want to cringe and die and then come back to life and slap this man for not thinking this through more thoroughly.
I'm sure this would all be very sweet seeming (to them) if they'd done it alone. And they'd tell the story and everyone would be all, "Aaaaawwww" and whatever. But now that'll never happen, because we all saw it and it was total shit.
If you insist on a public proposal (which, I'm not at all opposed to), you must remember you are, essentially, producing a bit of theater. Think that shit through!!! The quelle surprise moment is not the only thing you have to plan here! Your audience deserves more than a bang-up intro followed by a mediocre show and a fizzle of an ending (that sentence, by the way, can double as my review for Julie Taymor's The Lion King). Moreover, what does this say as far as a foreshadowing of your life together?!?! Not to mention you're clearly terrible at sexing.
So. No pressure, you guys. But don't fuck this shit up by going all gung-fucking-ho on a proposal surprise then muttering out a few cliches about waking up ever day together followed by weight-shifting-stand-aroundery where we're all expecting you (and, frankly, her) to say, "Dear God, IS IT OVER??" You need to propose the house down! Or just do it privately so you can both tell everyone it was the most sweepingly romantic thing the universe has ever witnessed and we'll all believe you because what the fuck do we know?
Posted by Havilah
