All of us love to keep our little list of deal breakers when we're single and mingling. Things like, men who wear floor length fur, girls who smoke, anyone who doesn't know the earth revolves around the sun and not vice versa. Things like that.
Well here are a few things to add to the list:
A tattoo of Florida = deal breaker. I don't care what your relationship to Florida is. I don't care if you were born and abandoned at a truckstop in Florida and later found and adopted by the Floridians who would become your amazing parents and/or benefactors. I do not care. I'm the one who has to look at that shit. Deal breaker.
Bringing up the possibility you might be related within the first several minutes after meeting = deal breaker. That shit ain't cute. And it's an idea that can't be unheard. Once that's on my mind, it's going nowhere. We're cousins and this is gross.
Men with cats - bordering on deal breaker. Cats are gross. Stop it, yes they are. They don't potty outside, they potty in your home. And not in a toilet. In a box that smells like amonia. They shed on everything (including my Chanel blazer...ugh). They are nocturnal. THEY ARE NOCTURNAL! Ain't no bitch alive wants to sleep over with you while your fucking cat bolts around the apartment and kneeds your head. Cats don't love you back. They just use you for food and a warm place to stay. They make you their bitch. No woman wants to get involved with someone who's already allowed himself to be made the bitch of a fucking feline. Also, imagine the horror of doing sex to each other and the cat is either watching or attempting to participate. No ::shudder:: cats are deal breakers. GROSS.
Well here are a few things to add to the list:
A tattoo of Florida = deal breaker. I don't care what your relationship to Florida is. I don't care if you were born and abandoned at a truckstop in Florida and later found and adopted by the Floridians who would become your amazing parents and/or benefactors. I do not care. I'm the one who has to look at that shit. Deal breaker.
Bringing up the possibility you might be related within the first several minutes after meeting = deal breaker. That shit ain't cute. And it's an idea that can't be unheard. Once that's on my mind, it's going nowhere. We're cousins and this is gross.
Men with cats - bordering on deal breaker. Cats are gross. Stop it, yes they are. They don't potty outside, they potty in your home. And not in a toilet. In a box that smells like amonia. They shed on everything (including my Chanel blazer...ugh). They are nocturnal. THEY ARE NOCTURNAL! Ain't no bitch alive wants to sleep over with you while your fucking cat bolts around the apartment and kneeds your head. Cats don't love you back. They just use you for food and a warm place to stay. They make you their bitch. No woman wants to get involved with someone who's already allowed himself to be made the bitch of a fucking feline. Also, imagine the horror of doing sex to each other and the cat is either watching or attempting to participate. No ::shudder:: cats are deal breakers. GROSS.
Posted by Havilah
