Our lady of reality, Nikki K. (or whatever fucking name I gave her) has now made it through the Gladiators Gauntlet and is ready for her journey into glamor, helicopter rides, world travels and marriage (obviously). So, Nikki K. is whisked off to LA and put up in a hotel in Southern California near Pepperdine University – gorgeous. Here’s the only hitch, and, personally, it’s my favorite hitch of the whole fucking Bachelor experience. She is to remain in her hotel room (not just the hotel, her room) for 5 full days. Now, some of you are thinking, Sounds kind of awesome, like a forced 5 day veg out. You would be wrong. On this “vacation” you are allowed no guests, phone, computer/internet, games, books, magazines, TV, movies or music. I’ll let you read that list again and remind yourself that Havilah the Blogger never lies. Oh, and one other thing, you can never – under any circumstances – open your blinds. Truth. They do give you $50 each day for food, though. So, you can eat. A lot.
Nikki K. has an idea about why they do this and I tend to think she’s right (because it just feels right) – she thinks they do it so the contestants are at their peak crazy level for the 1st episode. As you know (don’t pretend you don’t watch the show, Readers), the women show up in to the house in a limo in full hair and makeup and wearing some kind formal dress to introduce themselves to The Bachelor. Well, what we may not have known is that the limo ride over was some of the first social interaction they’d had in 5 days, it’s the first time they’ve been out of a hotel room, the first time they’ve seen the outdoors, oh, and it’s the first time (usually in their lives) that they’ve had cameras following their every move and the first time they’ve been on a TV show, period. Their crazies make a lot more sense now, eh? There are some smart mother fuckers over there at The Bachelor. Twisted. But smart.
So what about those first intro lines The Bachelor is so famous for? Stay tuned for that in the final installment of The Seriously Seedy Underbally Of ABC’s The Bachelor. It promises to be anticlimactic since the 5 day prison sentence was my favorite part.
Posted by Havilah
Nikki K. has an idea about why they do this and I tend to think she’s right (because it just feels right) – she thinks they do it so the contestants are at their peak crazy level for the 1st episode. As you know (don’t pretend you don’t watch the show, Readers), the women show up in to the house in a limo in full hair and makeup and wearing some kind formal dress to introduce themselves to The Bachelor. Well, what we may not have known is that the limo ride over was some of the first social interaction they’d had in 5 days, it’s the first time they’ve been out of a hotel room, the first time they’ve seen the outdoors, oh, and it’s the first time (usually in their lives) that they’ve had cameras following their every move and the first time they’ve been on a TV show, period. Their crazies make a lot more sense now, eh? There are some smart mother fuckers over there at The Bachelor. Twisted. But smart.
So what about those first intro lines The Bachelor is so famous for? Stay tuned for that in the final installment of The Seriously Seedy Underbally Of ABC’s The Bachelor. It promises to be anticlimactic since the 5 day prison sentence was my favorite part.
Posted by Havilah
