IT'S PRIDE WEEK, Y'ALL!!!! Welcome to it!

I know your gay-loving ass has no fucking plans tonight so don't sit there acting like you're all "proud" and shit. So let's remedy that. Here's what you're doing tonight:

JWT (an NYC ad agency bursting with pride) is hosting a pretty stellar evening of gayness and pride tonight and you're going. It starts at 6 with a bunch of married LGBT couples talking about the fact that just because they got married doesn't mean they aren't still pretty much sub-citizens and we have a fucking lot of work yet to do. Then, they're lightening up the mood with a rousing game of DRAG BINGO!!!! Reader, you know how I love drag queens. Add in BINGO and I'm fucking sold!

Oh, and there will be rainbow cupcakes.

Oh, and I will be there.

Oh, and they'll have pigs-in-a-blanket!

Oh, and Sonja Morgan tweeted about it! Which, let's be honest, is pretty much the main reason I'm going.

Oh, and I'm going downtown to Stonewall (where Pride began) afterward for MORE DRAG! Paige Turner is hosting her awesome Playhouse and my girl Kittin Whithawhip will be a guest!

Posted by Havilah

There is an epi-fucking-demic of people asking my ass for money on Facebook (and everywhere else) right now. I mostly relegate those people to the "Unsubscribe from status updates from this person" list because I have no money and even if I did I most likely wouldn't be giving it to them to fund their fucking pet-project-slash-autobiographical-performance-art-project-based-on-life-and-mired-deeply-in-the-cultural-struggle-of-whoever-currently-has-the-most-newsworthy-cultural-struggle-slash-interpretive-dance-biopic. Which might make me selfish, but it's also the reason I have a fucking Louis Vuitton bag and not a producer credit for whatever is currently running in the basement of the Gene Frankel Theater. BAM! (or BAM).

With that said, I recently went to "unsubscribe" from Joshua Pilote's status updates on Facebook 'cause his ass was asking me for fucking money for whatever-in-the-hell when upon closer inspection I realized...um...I think he's asking me to give him money so that he can strip for me. Ummm, yes please. Josh is a badass Broadway stage manager, not a dancer, who is planning to participate in this year's Broadway Bares by showing us all what he's working with (and I can tell you, he's working with some fucking AK-47's, ladies). Broadway Bares is an annual performance raising money for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS, a unique and very special, industry-based organization helping in the fight against HIV/AIDS. Because Josh isn't a dancer and considers himself "average" (maybe average by Broadway-dancer-insane-body standards, but not by mine) this is a very big step for him and one he may only take once, therefore his fundraising goal is fucking lofty, Readers. Josh plans to raise $10,000 for Broadway Cares (most people raise between $200 and $1000). What?! Yes, $10,000.

Here's what: I, for one, hate AIDS and love gorgeous naked people dancing on stage for my enjoyment. I have a feeling you might share those likes and dislikes. So, go find that person in your life (we all have one) who has more money than they need, make them an offer they can't refuse (you know the one I mean) and get them to donate to Joshua Pilote so he can fight AIDS with his sexy abs and rock-hard...THIGHS! Thighs, you filthy slore. But also his cock.

Go here to find out how you can get your donation to Joshua (and do it by June 16th or else). Here's how it works: Joshua has been working his shit out at the Broadway fitness craze/cult Mark Fisher Fitness in preparation for his participation in this year's Strip-a-thon prior to the actual Broadway Bares event (which is on June 17th). If Josh reaches his goal of $10,000 for the Strip-a-thon he will officially be boogy-oogy-oogying sans clothing on the Broadway Bares stage! MAKE IT HAPPEN, Readers! Do it for me (if not for Josh and if not the fight against AIDS). I want to see Josh's penical-formation through his teensy undies. There. I'm out there about that, now. It's been said. Donate.

We salute you, Joshua!

Posted by Havilah

Tom Gabel, lead singer for the punk band Against Me!, recently came out as transgender to Rolling Stone. The singer will be known as Laura Jane Grace once she begins her life as a woman. She's beginning her transition now by taking hormones and decided to be public and open about the change. She has a 2 year old daughter and is married to a woman who is very supportive and will be staying on in the role of megaboss-awesome wife of the century.

I fully salute Tom/Laura Jane (it's that awkward time when you don't know which name to use) for her openness which will no doubt be helpful and inspirational to tons of other people who are grappling with gender dysphoria. We also salute her wife for being awesome. And finally, we salute her turban, because not every bitch can rock that shit.

Posted by Havilah

Obama (The Barackness Monster) has been, up to this point, pretty fucking wishy-washy about his "stance" (he doesn't have one) on same-sex marriage. In this photo we see The Barackness saying, "I'm a 'Christian' but I'm also a human being with a heart. But I'm also running for President. But at the same time I have to poo kind of. What to do? What. To. Do?"

Well, rumor mill has it (my friend's friend texted her and she posted it to Facebook = rumor mill) that he is going to come correct about his super-love for gays and that he feels they should be allowed to straight-up get murried. Or something like that. He's doing an interview to air on tomorrow's Good Morning, America but allegedly clips may be released sometime today.

You guys, if My-Bama comes out as a gay lover I will...what should I do? Tell me. I feel like I should make some pledge, like, "If Obama says he loves gays, I will climb Mt. Everest." Or something. What should I do?!

PS: Yes, I realize today's news isn't entirely "unrelated", but whatever, I was up until 4:30am. My life can't function properly today.

UPDATE: Oh yes he did!
"Over the course of several years as I have talked to friends and family and neighbors, when I think about members of my own staff who are in incredibly committed monogamous relationships, same-sex relationships, who are raising kids together, when I think about those soldiers or airmen or Marines or sailors who are out there fighting on my behalf and yet feel constrained, even now that 'don't ask, don't tell' is gone, because they are not able to commit themselves in a marriage, at a certain point I’ve just concluded that for me personally, it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same-sex couples should be able to get married."
-- Your President. (Not you, Bangladesh. I'm not looking at you.)

Posted by Havilah

Dear Readers (particularly those 2 of you who are voting in North Carolina today), it's voting day, y'all! North Carolina will vote today on the so-called "Amendment One" which is on one hand an amendment which would shit all over a large portion of North Carolina's citizenship (the gay portion. THEY WALK AMONG YOU, NC!). On the other hand the amendment will potentially cause major issues for and and all unwed couples and their children.

North Carolina voters, before you go to the polls today, please, I beg you, educate thyself!

But also, Miss North Carolina is voting against Amendment One. So, you should to. Because that bitch is pretty as fuck.

Posted by Havilah

I was going to write about how Popchips asked Ashton Kutcher to be their mouthpiece for racism and he accepted whole heartedly, but Popchips has since issued an apology and I have accepted it so I won't write about that.

Instead, let's delve into the mind of a total fucklord. Rev. Sean Harris, senior pastor at Berean Baptist Church in Fayetteville, North Carolina, delivered a no doubt rousing sermon last Sunday when he told his little sheep  to punch their kids if they start acting all gayish. Truth.

Sticking with his theme of North Carolina's proposed Amendment 1 (what gay doesn't love a theme?), this "man of god" told the diddies in his congregation they should "crack that wrist" if they see their sons "dropping the limp wrist." He said, "Man up. Give them a good punch. (Tell them), 'You're not going to act like that'." If your baby gay is acting all drag queeny, Rev. Harris says you need to be "squashing that like a cockroach". He's no sexist, though. He also takes issue with girls "acting too butch." According to the Rev., girls should "smell like a girl...be beautiful, be attractive and dress yourself up." Well!

The Rev. says he was just doing what Jesus would do by being all hyperbolic and shit and that if he had to do it again he'd use different words (to make the same point). "The Bible makes no compromise on effeminate behavior," he said. "God created you a male, God created you a female. If you were created a male, you are to act like a man." Here's what, though. The Bible actually does make some compromises on effeminate behavior, y'all! Maia, a member of our staff and also (weirdly) a Bible scholar (truth) tells us that while the Bible is pretty clear on gender roles, some of it's key characters indulge in a little gender-fuck on more than one occasion. Paul refers to himself as a mother, as nursing people and as having given birth (among other things) and Jesus (THE Jesus) even has boobies in Revelations! God, I love the Bible.

Dear Readers, please weigh in! What do girls smell like, exactly?

Also: North Carolina Readers, the vote on Amendment One will be next Tuesday. Educate thyself. Cock erimeanrock the vote!

Posted by Havilah with help from Maia

Yay, Ray Ban! Yay, gay! Ray Ban's most recent ad campaign, "Never Hide", produced by Paris ad agency Marcel, is an homage to, "people from various eras who have flouted conventions in plain sight." Including (but not limited to) this fabulous couple here who is clearly going against the grain by dating outside of their height range. I fully salute them because if the mister on the left wanted to wear heels one night he's really going to tower over his beau and they are just saying, "Fuck it" to that. I have a lot of friends who would not be so brave. GO RAY BAN!

You BETTA werk!

Posted by Havilah

Y'all, I'm sorry my ass had to take off the past few days. I promise you'll be happy when I tell you why.

Oh, I'm not telling you why anytime soon.

But anyway, in the meantime I have discovered this podcast, "Coffee With Queens" and LOVE-ING-IT! If you know me at all, Readers, you know I love Kiki Kardashian, Hillary Clinton and drag queens. Well, I have just found all three in one! No, I'm fucking with you, I didn't. I will create my own separate blog dedicated to that if I ever find it.

No, but I did find this podcast and this shit is hilarious. Kittin Whithawhip (one of my fave lady-boys) and Frostie Flakes basically sit around drinking "coffee" and dishing on headlines (the kind of headlines we read, Readers, not like, "serious" headlines). I love these two! If I wasn't scared of losing my job, I'd say they should definitely get these bitches to write for YIGtBAT. No, but we should totally get them to write for us.

The show is a delightful hour of tea (T, y'all), celebrities, death, trash, fucks, shits, tits, asses and awesomeness with a couple crazy funny queens.

I am encouraging them to watch "Sybil", though. They'll get it. And you will too, if you listen!

Check it out here or on iTunes.

Posted by Havilah

A Federal Judge in San Francisco ruled Tuesday that denying insurance benefits to same-sex spouses is discriminatory. I mean, duh. I suppose I should call this a victory for queer rights, but I feel this is more so a victory for smart people over ign'ant people.

Christopher Nathan and Thomas Alexander fell in love over their mutual overuse of first names and were married in 2008 during the 12 minute window when California gays could put a ring on it. When Christopher tried to get benefits for his husband Thomas the federal government (who he works for) said, "No," and Chris was all, "But why?" and they go, "Don't worry about it, bitch," and he was like, "No, but I am gonna worry about it 'cause that shit ain't right no-how!" and then the Gov was like, "Well it's 'cause you're a big ol' gay and we don't get behind that," and Chris laughed and goes, "You said 'get behind that'," and they were like, "See? You don't even deserve it, you're like so immature, " but Chris was all, "Um, I fucking doubt it, trick, and I will take that shit to court," but they said, "Yeah, well, bring it," and Chis was like, "Oh, it's already been broughten." And then this judge Tuesday was like, "You bitches need to shut the fuck up. Also, Federal Government? Are you serious? You can't deny someone that shit. Come on, girl. Be real."

And so it's official, denying someone rights based on their sexuality is discriminatory.

This time.

Posted by Havilah

Mike O'Brien has started a new web interview series called "7 Minutes In Heaven" and I'm kind of in love with it. The Ellen DeGeneres interview below is among my favorites. This dude interviewed Insane Clown Posse, though, in a tiny closet - I meeeean, that's awesome. And all the interviews end, in the tradition of the show's namesake, with a kiss.

Go watch them, Readers. Go watch them all. And laaaaaugh and laugh.

Posted by Havilah