Coffee With Queens (Not THAT Queen, Though)
Y'all, I'm sorry my ass had to take off the past few days. I promise you'll be happy when I tell you why. Oh, I'm not telling you why anytime soon.But anyway, in the meantime I have discovered this podcast, "Coffee With Queens" and LOVE-ING-IT! If you know me at all, Readers, you know I love Kiki Kardashian, Hillary Clinton and drag queens. Well, I have just found all three in one! No, I'm fucking with you, I didn't. I will create my own separate blog dedicated to that if I ever find it. No, but I did find this podcast and this shit is hilarious. Kittin Whithawhip (one of my fave lady-boys) and Frostie Flakes basically sit around drinking "coffee" and
dishing on headlines (the kind of headlines we
read, Readers, not like, "serious" headlines). I love these two! If I wasn't scared of losing my job, I'd say they should definitely get these bitches to write for YIGtBAT. No, but we should totally get them to write for us.The show is a delightful hour of tea (T, y'all), celebrities, death,
trash, fucks, shits, tits, asses and awesomeness with a couple crazy funny queens.I am encouraging them to watch "Sybil", though. They'll get it. And you will too, if you listen!Check it out here or on iTunes.Posted by Havilah
Dear Readers, brace yourselves. Dr. Dre, the awesome rap artist turned dark-sided
creep master and his side kick Snoop Dee-oh-double-gee are in talks to launch a fucking tour
with their new friend, Holo-Pac.So. Gross.I was a freshman in high school when Tupac was killed and I was for sure in the crazy camp that believed he was alive and hiding somewhere peaceful and quiet. I am a huge fan and the thought of him not being around to whip out more insight
ful social commentary veiled in badass rhymes was (and still is) heart breakingly sad. But, Readers (and Dr. Dre)! When I say I wish Pac wasn't dead, this is not what I mean! Let the man rest in peace (either in death or in Switzerland).On a serious level, I actually did find this particular use of projection to be interesting as a technical feature for a show, but because of whose image they were projecting, I was left deeply sad after watching it. It just felt like a harsh reminder that, while it may have looked like it on that stage, 2Pac's not around anymore. There are wonderful rap artists today who I really like and admire, but there's never been anyone who could touch 2Pac.
I'm glad he was around as long as he was and that we all got to hear him, but I'm sad that he's gone. For me, personally, animating a projected image of him and interacting with it as though he's really there feels offensive and assaulting. Okay, I swear that's as serious as I'll get for like at least a fucking month.Sidebar: Interesting little tidbit - we all keep calling this a hologram (including me) and it actually isn't. It's a 2D image. Worth noting. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!Posted by Havilah
Rachel & Literally
Celebrity stylist turned fashion designer Rachel Zoe is married to Rodger Berman and the couple has a newish baby together. However, Rachel has had a longtime side piece and his name is literally Literally. Rodger is completely aware of the ongoing affair and while he doesn't love the arrangement, he understands their love and accepts it.
Rachel and Literally have been living together and literally attached at the lip since literally at least 2009. At least. The couple is not shy about flaunting their passion for each other (as witnessed in the video below) and their firey love affair doesn't look to be ending any time soon.
There is at least one pretty significant aspect of Literally that Rachel doesn't seem to understand on a basic core level. But they've somehow worked around that. Literally lets it slide and Rachel just doesn't give a fuck. Literally.
I love these two and I really hope this newish baby doesn't get in the way of their flourishing love.
Posted by Havilah
Aaawwww, Kelsey Grammer super loves his 4th wife, Kayte Walsh. He's so in love and sure it's gonna be for life that he went under the needle for her ass. He got her name tattooed on his waistline because A) he loves her mucho, B) it's forever this time and C) he's apparently a 21 year old girl. The tattoos artist's gramma attended her grandson's very first celebrity tattooing (as any gramma should) and had this to say about the artwork, "I figured with his background he should just put a 'K' with a period to give him some flexibility." Damn, gramma! That bitch does not mince words. I like her. I wonder if she'd write for YIGtBAT. We need more of her around here.
Posted by Havilah
Sarah & Abortion
Comedienne Sarah Silverman and her loooooonnngtime lover, Abortion, are still gazing into each other's eyes with a burning desire even after all these years. Sarah tweeted this photo of herself before and after abortion ("in case R[owe] v W[ade] gets overturned") the other night and I'm loving that afterglow she is owning in the after photo. Sarah and Abortion have been in a committed relationship (as of now the fucking communist government won't let them get married) since at least 2007.The couple came close to calling it quits when Sarah was influenced by her girlfriends who thought the relationship was unhealthy. Thank god they worked that shit out. I mean, thank. God.We haven't heard a lot from the couple in the past few years, but after this latest tweet, I'm confident their love will live on forever.Posted by Havilah
Tupac and Nate Dogg Set To Appear At Coachella
Yes, Dear Readers, you read that headline right. Tupac Shakur and Nate Dogg, both deceased, are apparently going to make an appearance with former Death Row collaborators Snoop and Dre at this year's Coachella (or as I like to call it, "That Music Festival Where Celebrities Congregate En Mass Wearing Their Most Of-The-People Looking Outfits").Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre plan to use holographic technology (with the help of Musion)
to reanimate these otherwise totally dead performers as part of their show which promises to be packed with tons of guests (including both dead and not-at-all-dead rap artists) like Eminem and Wiz Khalifa.So far no one is commenting on whether Whitney Houston will make an appearance. Since there are usually a lot of drugs at the festival, she'll probably politely decline. She tries not to put herself into situations like that. You know. Ever since "the incident"
.UPDATE: Here's the video. So. Fucking. Creepy. Posted by Havilah
Not Hating Women Is So Right Now
Full disclosure: When I was 9 years old I saw my very first Wynonna Judd concert and my cousin and I spent the next 16 years of our lives following Wynonna, Naomi and Ashley around whenever I possibly could (yes, it was creepy, but I accept that about myself...I was in love). I turned in my Judd Head Belt
around the time I graduated college (and became frustrated that Wynonna wasn't using her talent in what I considered the best way possible...bitch can fucking sang, Readers, but most of you have probably not heard her for years - and that ain't right) but that doesn't mean I didn't for sure accost Naomi in a restaurant just last month and stood on line to see Wynonna at a book signing last year just so I could touch her soft hands and tell her how much I love her. With that knowledge about me, you are presented by me with the now WORLD FAMOUS response from Ashley Judd to all her haters, et al. I'm posting it here, in its entirety (instead of as a link), because many of the comments at The Daily Beast are fucking disheartening and written by leotards. Since you never post comments on my blogs (WHYYYY?!?!?!), her words are safer here and you can, therefore, read them without getting sucker punched in your puffy face directly afterward (it's a little puffy, Reader. NOT THAT IT MATTERS, but it is a little bit. Just, next time you're examining all your faults in the mirror, I"m just saying, maybe take a second look at the puffiness factor. That's all. DOESN'T MATTER, just saying). Ashley's sentiment receives an A++ from YIGtBAT (congratulations, Ashley, and you're welcome). Yes, I may find the writing a tiddly-bit overwrought and I can't cosign all of her sub-points, but the overall
idea is one I'm 100% behind. Women take a lot of shit - from men and
from women. Ease the fuck off. We're so
fucking hard on each other. All of us. And most of us are hard enough on ourselves, we really don't need anyone else's help.
Ease. The fuck. Off
. In all it's glory (after the jump, click "Read More" below):
99 Problems But A Book Ain't One
It's a slow news day but I'm still kind of loving this bit of breaking celebrity news (from last Thursday).
Housing Works Bookstore reported via it's Tumblr that they received two donations of Tyra Banks smash hit (not a smash hit) novel, "Modelland". Here's what, they were signed! Nice. Here's what else, they still had sticky notes inside the cover addressing them to Mary Kate and Ashley (one for each, natch, they're individuals, Readers!) from Tyra.
That's so awesome. I mean, I love Tyra, but still...that's hilarious.
You know those two twitches have better shit to do than read "Modelland". I don't know what it is (I hope it's Johnny Depp), but they have something. I would say the same thing if this were my 6 month old niece. Bitch has better shit to do than to be sitting around reading about Tookie De La Créme. Donate that shit.
Posted by Havilah
...and/or a pair of fucking shackles. Depending on if you're Britney Spears or not. And in all honesty, I'm really
hoping you are.
So, you know how Brit-Brit's dad is her conservator
(so basically her dad but if she were 14 years old) for the past several years? Shut up, you fucking know, don't pretend like you're so above celebrity gossip, Reader. I know you.Anyway, Brit-Brit's diddy
decided last Friday that it made perfect sense for her fiancé, Jason Trawick, to file a petition making him a co-conservator. Jason will be in charge of Brit-Brit's "well being" while Diddy will continue to man the whip at the golden gates to her bank account. In short, Jason asked Britney to marry him and sho
rtly thereafter asked for legal control over her.She said "yes". Not that it mattered.The happy and totally normal couple plans to have a ceremony. But it's really just for show since Jason has already decided it's in Brit's best interest to marry him, therefore she must. Legally.This seems to fall pretty much in line with Britney's fantasy of how love works. Posted by Havilah
Kate & The T
Kate Winslet has been open about her love for The T (the truth
, baby, the truth) ever since she had a public fucking fit over her ridiculously photoshopped GQ cover where here legs were made to look nearly a third smaller than they do in the original photo. Kate has recently been hitting the red carpet to promote the release of Titanic 3D
and the doll has taken her fucking T with her! Last week she and The T made love on set at MTV where she had this to say about Celine Dion's masterpiece
, "My Heart Will Go On", "I wish I could say, 'Oh listen, everybody! It's the Celine Dion song!' But I don't, I just have to sit there, you know, kind of straight-faced with a massive internal eye roll. [It makes me] feel like throwing up."
Fucking. Brilliant.This bitch and and this
bitch (pointing at myself) need to BFF with each other, because we are soul mates to the maximum level, I feel.Just the other day Kate took The T with her to an interview with Daily Mail and had this to say about her costar, Leonardo DiCaprio, "
We do look very different, we’re older. Leo’s 37, I’m 36 – we were 21 and 22 when we made that film. You know, he’s fatter now – I’m thinner. It’s true though!" It is true, though.
And why are she and I not hanging out having T right now
?!?!I love you, girl. You and The T.Posted by Havilah