I have no idea what this is or why I watched it (thrice), but I did an actual spit take the first time I saw it. That's when I knew I had to share it. I can't really set it up much more than that as I actually, truly, have no idea what - in this great, expansive Universe - it is. Besides everything.

Posted by Havilah

Jodie Foster is sick and tired of being sick and tired! She is also a taaaayyyy inna weeeeeeeennn. Also, Agent Starling has had it up to her eyeballs with you vultures and your cruel, heartless treatment of her former co-star, Kristen "Slore" Stewart. In a rare turn of events, Jodie went public with her rant, via the Daily Beast (the LiveJournal for celebs). This happened a couple days ago and I have been unable to stop laughing since I first read it.

It's mostly an open letter (poem??) about Jodie Foster and how she's really fucking good at being private and being Jodie Foster. And also, she once made a movie with Kristen Stewart. And has had weird flashbacks/dreams/nightmares/visions ever since. Here's my favorite part of the whole overwrought mess:

"There’s this image I have of a perfect moment. It comes to me as a square format 8mm home movie with ’70s oversaturated reds and blues, no sound, just a scratchy loop … there’s a little white-haired girl twirling in the surf... The camera shakes a little. Perhaps her mom’s laughing behind the lens. Could a child be more loved than in this moment? She’s perfect. She is absolutely perfect."

Bad timing, Jodie. 'Cause guess what! IT'S SHARK WEEK, BITCHES!!!

Also, Jodie, ever since you stuck up for Mel Gibson - you're basically like a PR leper. No one really wants you on their side, Jodie.

Posted by Havilah