Debt Crisis! Hm?
WASHINGTON - To those of you who get your news from YIGTBAT, I have two things to say: A) You are hilarious and B) You are really under-informed. Oh, three things - C) This is really old news, so don't go around talking about it like it's new. The cool thing people are doing is to talk about it like it's old and boring and that you could have resolved the whole issue ages ago and why are we even still talking about this and so on. So, just know that.
There is a debt crisis and there are people who are slash are not going to solve that shit. Moves are being made, actions are being taken. Oh wait, this just in! Nothing is being done as these people (I'll call them collectively "Them" and "They") take a moment to collect their thoughts. Ope, no, they're on again! Shit's being talked about, numbers are being crunched, come-to-Jesus meetings are being scheduled and blacks and whites are coming together for a common cause. Things are looking good. Blue ribbons are apparently going to be awarded or some shit.
Oh shit. I take it back. They've decided They need another breather. But listen, it's kind of a gorgeous summer. I can totally understand wanting to just take a day off and just soak in the sun. So I'm going to assume that's what They're doing. I expect we might have some answers come February when no one wants to go outside anymore.
Paula Deen said, "Bein' rich is having leftovers. Good leftovers make yo' tongue fly outta yo' mouth and smack yo' brains out [y'all]," and I tend to agree.
UPDATE! -- A deal has be struck. Google it.
Posted by Havilah
Went on my very first Daddy Date, last night! That's what I'm calling it. 'Cause he's a daddy. No, like an actual daddy. As in, he has 2 children. Technically I have been on a daddy date before and went on them for over 3 years, but that guy was too old and too married, so I'm trying to block those memories from my psyche. I am dating exponentially more now that I'm writing for YIGTBAT, but for the most part, I go on dates only when I'm actually interested, not just so I have something to write about. To be about as honest as I'm likely to ever get on here, I am, in fact, looking for love. So I don't just go on dates for blog material. However, I'll admit this one particular date was
a little more blog focused than love focused. I loved the idea of going out with a single father and all the fodder I'd get for my blog-cannon. Well, shit. Turns out it went really, really
well.He found me online and we decided to meet
at Bryant Park
and just walk around and sit and chat. So we did. He was super cute, first of all. Otherwise, his clothes were lame, he's kind of stiff and not super personable, but I'll be goddamned if there wasn't a spark! Seriously?! Of all the marathon dating I've been doing, this
is the one person I actually have a spark with? It's complete lunacy, but we'll just see where this goes. I'll keep y'all updated on this one. I have a feeling, since I'm actually interested, this Daddy situation is not going to end well.
Stay tuned!Posted by Havilah
Are You Ready? But ARE You?
In today's news - something happened yesterday having to do with NFL football and people. are. talking! This news came just moments before people started planning their fantasy football charts and going to their local Dick's (Sporting Goods, readers, don't be vulgar) for this year's "it" item in football parafanalia. What happened yesterday has shaken many football fans to the core today. Paul Simon was quoted as saying, "Nothing's different, but everthing's changed." President Barack Hussein Obama could not be reached for comment but his Press Secretary Jay Carney said, "The President continues to believe that our focus must remain on seizing this unique opportunity..." Powerful stuff, but can we trust the President actually believes this? Who can say? So the world continues to spin now that football is being played after it was near extinction - at least that's what I overheard on the elevator and read in criptic, far-too-vague Facebook posts. This news about the very important thing that happened in the world of football couldn't have come at a better time, in my opinion. Truly. I asked my co-workers how they felt about this news and was greeted with stunned silence. Apt. Apt. However, when questioned, Rhett Butler (a southern gentleman [depending on who you ask] and therefore an avid sports fan) found the perfect words which echo the feelings of us all here at YIGTBAT when he said, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." I salute you, Rhett. And I concur.
Goodnight. And goodnight.
Posted by Havilah
Let it be known from this day forward: if you take a girl (namely me) to see Fuerza Bruta
(for the first time) on a first date, you will
book a second date. That is a fact, Jack (or whomever). That show is fucking amazing. As my grandpa would have said, "I'm no theater critic, but I know what I like." If you live in/around NYC, go to that!Went out with someone I met at everyone's favorite watering hole, OKCupid and discovered this phenomenon, which I've never really taken note of before. It is possible to plan a first date that's so good, you can pretty much coast through it being just somewhat pleasant-to-be-around and you're going to book a second date, pretty much without question. For me, in this case, it was Fuertza Bruta. Another one I think is going to be a real "in the bag" date is this Arcade event at MoMA. I mean, who wouldn't have a blast playing video games designed by artists all night? It seems to me, this would put anyone in high enough spirits to completely ignore your possible character flaws and/or physical deformities and say "yes" to a second date? So, readers, I think we, as a society, need to start getting more creative and go-gettem with out first date planning. Go whole hog! Do something that is going to get you second date without fail. On that note - do you know of any fail-safe first dates that're pretty much guaranteed to land you a second? Tell me!!!! Comment here or email me.Posted by Havilah
As always, we are looking for writers! Yesterday we were in meetings all day (and we made Havilah attend, thus, no posts yesterday) and one idea we love for a new post topic is:POLITICS IN DATINGHavilah has made it abundantly clear that she knows fuck all about politics and apparently doesn't seem to care. We are now looking for a blogger and/or bloggers
who are politically minded and completely irreverent and feel they can find a way to tie that into the world of dating. How do politics effect your/your friends' dating life? Does it? Why/why not? Can people of differing political views make it work? If so, how? If not, why not? This is the kind of stuff we'd like to hear about. Do you want to talk about it? Please let us know.Please contact us at email@example.com. As usual, please do not contact Havilah, as she will promptly delete your emails for fear of losing her job.
She's such a baby.Posted by The Team
It's The Day Of The Show, Y'all.
And they're off! The Gays of The State of New York are officially and legally entering wedded bliss today
(if they so choose…and apparently a lot of them so choose). A month ago today New York became the largest state to pass a same-sex marriage law and today is the day of days! Now we can all, equally and whole-heartedly, make that sacred choice that we will eventually regret or at least question. And to all my married readers gasping right now - don't lie, you've all done it. Maybe you haven't vocalized your concerns and maybe you even tried to deny them to yourself, but I know you and you've spent time wishing you could do it all differently. You've dreamed that you, too, could experience the joys of OKCupid and Match.com all over again (or for the first time). The good news of today is this: now we can all
experience that magical feeling of kicking ourselves in the genitals over our decision to legally bind ourselves to the same person for the rest of our days on Earth (or until we divorce them). Ohmigosh, I bet gay divorce is going to be fucking theatrical as shit. High drama, I have no doubt. Shit will
get ugly. Oh, stereotypes - sometimes they exist for a reason.
I salute you, gays! Not so much for actually getting
married ('cause I kind of question your judgement there), but for fighting the good fight and not shutting the fuck up until you got what you wanted. Hip hip, hoorGAAAY
Editor's Note: Today's DAILY [unrelated] NEWS! is not entirely unrelated.
Posted by Havilah
Well now I know the difference between an ironic nerd and an actual nerd. Went out with a guy I met on OKCupid. He warned me he was a "dork" but I always just assume when people say that they're really just hipsters trying to run contrary to the popular world. Well, apparently, sometimes when people say that they actually have a very good self-awareness and are being completely accurate. This kid was fucking adorable, though. On OKCupid, he lists his job as "Finance/Banking". Well, that's more than a little misleading. I don't really care (for the most part) what your job is. But if you work in the IT department at a banking/finance institution (as this guy does), that doesn't really make it entirely accurate to say that your "work in finance/banking". In fact, it's really pretty fucking inaccurate. So, I'm calling on all online daters to re-fucking-evaluate your your job listing - and in fact, your entire profile - and just get that shit straight. Yes, banking and finance sounds way sexier than computer geek, but it's not like she isn't going to figure shit out when you show up wearing khakis with a navy blue polo shirt, your key-card and ID are hanging from your retractable keychain attached to your belt and you spend a fair portion of the date pushing your glass up on your nose (these are all truths from this date). So come correct on your profile page. Yes, lying might book you the first date - but it certainly isn't going to get you a second one.
Posted by Havilah
No, no, no!
Hold on just a damn minute. So, apparently Amy Winehouse died.
What? Yes, Amy Winehouse died. As a singer, Amy was talented as fuck. Jesus, I hate saying "was"! This is seriously beyond my brains. Not only did I love Amy's music, I'll be the first to say that I also really had a great time laughing at her insane life. This girl was a complete wreck in so so many ways. Between her hair, her eyemakeup, her ballet slippers, her fiery attitude and her seemingly undying love for her ex-husband (Blake Fielder-Civil), booze and drugs - she was a complete delight for bloggers and trashy magazines everywhere. I will admittedly miss reading about her antics, but not as much as I will miss hearing her unmatchable, croony, jazzy, incredible voice singing new, brilliant songs.
None of us here at YIGTBAT have even a hint of an idea of what we think might maybe happen after death - but as for myself and from everyone here we sincerely hope Amy is finally at peace, feeling high as fuck, dancing in gorgeous pink slippers and singing her lungs out somewhere. You were a gift, Amy. I'm sorry I laughed at you, but thanks for letting me.
Posted by Havilah
Lucien Freud Was Awesome
Sad news is that Lucien Freud was awesome and now he's dead.
Damn. I loved this guy's paintings. They're like hyper-realistic and crazy-detailed. Looking at a crazy-detailed nude in an art museum is uncomfortable in the most glorious way possible. Lucien was 88 years old and he died in his London home (I really want to say "flat" but I'm betting he had himself a full-on house) after an illness.
He set a record for a living artist selling his painting (the one to the left there) for $33.6 million smackers. Go Lucien! No wonder the ladies dug on him. Well, that and he was apparently quite the snappy dresser. Even Kate Moss dropped trou for this guy, but I guess that's not really saying that much. And in case you're wondering, yes, Sigmund Freud was Lucien's g-pa. Well, from myself and all of us here at YIGTBAT, so long Lucien. And thanks for all the paintings. Also, can I borrow a couple dollars? I mean, it's just a couple dollars. Come on!Posted by Havilah
Here's something I've always been curious about: What's the dating process like for Jesus and his harem of nuns (or, "women religious" as they apparently prefer to be called in these modern times)? They're married to Christ, he puts a ring on it and everything. So, how do they know he's "the one"? I don't know a lot about Jesus Christ, but here's what I do know of his dossier:
There are other things, but this is a blog not a book. So, listen, for me? Given this list, I'm not entirely comfortable with the idea of dating this guy, let alone marrying him. So what is he doing with these ladies that is so charming that they just delete their OKCupid accounts and commit? No really, I'm asking.
- He's Middle Eastern (nothing wrong with that!) and Jewish.
- He died young, but no biggie 'cause - from what I've read, anyway - he came back to life shortly thereafter.
- He's not entirely "alive", per se.
- He has several thousand wives around the world (and beyond?)
- He's famous and has "followers" and "believers" (like Beliebers but different).
- His mom is famous, his dad, less so.
- He's a carpenter but doesn't really do much with that anymore and seems to me to be pretty much unemployed.
- He's a gifted magician (either Harry Potter magic or Magic Castle magic, depending on who you ask).
- Like half of the Bible is about his life slash afterlife.
And what's the divorce situation like? Do they go by the laws of the state they live in?Anyway, it's just something I've been thinking about. Let me know if you have any information on the matter.Posted by Havilah