The gayting website Manhunt has recently unveiled its giant, hard cockERIMEAN billboard in Sydney, Australia.  The campaign will promote the website's new mobile app.  Manhunt has 65,000 users in Australia (out of over 4 million worldwide…they walk among us, Readers).  The Australian campaign comes, naturally, after the already launched US campaign (U!S!A!  U!S!A!  U!S!GAY!) which most notably gifted all of New York for Christmas when it threw this shit up on Times Square for all to enjoy (in his or her own way).

We salute you, Manhunt.

Posted by Havilah

I'm currently "not just sitting around, but playing a crucial role in our criminal justice system" (aka: at jury duty, and I'm totally just sitting around) but I refuse to let down my loyal readers by no posting today's awesome Daily Duo - Portia de Rossi and Ellen Degeneres. They are today's Daily Duo due almost entirely to the fact that they are (Ellen is) completely cool in every single way.  

These two met in 2004, before Portia had actually come out publicly about her sexual orientation.  Shortly thereafter, she did. Obviously. I mean, I would also come out as a lesbian if Ellen Degeneres said she loved me. The couple was married in 2008 and in 2010 Portia changed her name to Portia Lee James Degeneres.  Which really just flows off the tongue and which I refuse to acknowledge.  The couple has no children but like a gozillion animals.

Posted by Havilah

UK - At a press conference in London last week, the Muppets spoke about the opening of their newest release.  They were also asked about the comments made by Fox Business "News" anchor Eric Bolling and his best friend Dan Gainor regarding The Muppets clear communist leanings.  Kermit was characteristically friendly, smooth and calm in his response, calling the allegations "categorically not true".  Miss Piggy, also characteristically, was less forgiving.  I fucking love this bitch.  If only she had closed with, "Look it up," followed by a sip from her tea cup.

Posted by Havilah

Exhibit A: True story, she's referenced on Narcissism101.com.

Exhibit B: David Furnish says so. And David Furnish knows narcissism.

Exhibit C: This.

Exhibit D: At mark 6:50 we see Madge make a seamless transition from pure narcissist to unadulterated badass.  And then back again.

UPDATE: Exhibit E: Madge firmly believes you should scrimp and save all year...for her.

Posted by Havilah

Dear Readers, prepare to have everything you know (everything. you. know) thrown in a wormhole of question and paradox. 

According to Slate.com and typographers in general - placing two spaces after a period is, "totally, completely, utterly, and inarguably wrong." I'll give you a moment to wipe your eyes and reread that.

Yes, it's true. Everything you know, every instinct you have is wrong.

Now you know what it feels like to be a puppy.

Think about it.

Posted by Havilah

Mary Kate & Ashley - obviously they are kind of the Lifely Duo. They're just so everything it's totally cray.  But I have questions.

When and how was the decision made that Mary Kate's name would come first? Has Ashley accepted it yet?  Like on an emotional level, I mean?

When and how did they decide to stop dressing alike? It seemed to happen in phases. Like they would wear the same outfit but in different colors and now the days of matchy-match are just dead. Will they ever return? Just once?  For us?

Which one is Mary Kate?  Dot com.

These two have been a couple since they were in the womb.  They have several companies together including, but not limited to, movie production, merchandising and most recently and quite successfully, fashion (remember that $200 t-shirt you saw by Elizabeth James?  Yeah, that's them).  Other than creating an empire worth at least 6 figures, they haven't done shit.  UNTIL TODAY! 

Congratulation, ASHLEY and Mary Kate, for finally making it to today's Daily Duo. 

You're welcome.

Posted by Havilah

The economy sucks.

Only those who occupy Wall Street know how to fix it.

And they're not talking.





Posted by Havilah

I've discussed the importance of Facebook before, and today we return to that age old topic.  You can argue with me, and I hope you do so I can smack you down with my word fists, but I feel you can learn an awful lot about a person based solely on their Facebook status updates.  Exactly how needy a person is can be made perfectly apparent by what they say and how often they say it.  Does this person thing homosexuality is against the law of life?  Just read their statuses, I bet you'll find out soon enough.  Is your "friend" really, really, really unfunny but firmly believes they are hilarious? It's there in their status.

I saw this comedian once at some show my friend was in and was totally like, "We need to be kissing each other."  He's available, cute, age-appropriate, geographically desirable...he has it all.  Naturally, I followed my own advice and "friended" him on Facebook and sent him a message saying "Hello" and who our mutual friend was and that I enjoyed his show and that I want to be doing it with him (all except the last bit is accurate).  So we chatted briefly and and now we comment to each other periodically.  So it's going well.  I'm bound to work that out somehow...eventually.

At first, I thought his political status updates were cute and funny.  As a non-political animal, myself, I sometimes find it endearing in potential suitors. I mean, at least one of us should know what's happening in the world, right?  But the more he statuses, the more I realize...this is maybe not for me.  My head is starting to heart from the pounding of his political hammer.  Like, I curse a lot in my Facebook statuses.  So, if someone were to think, "I bet she's going to say 'fuck' all the time in regular conversation," they would be right in thinking that.  So, I feel like I might also be right in assuming this guy is going to talk at me a lot about why I should hate Obama and love OWS and blaaaaaaaaaah blah blah blaaaaah blah blaaah.  And I just can't handle that.  I would prefer being a meal for zombies.

NEXT!

Posted by Havilah

The first couple ever of all time...ever!  They're The Daily Duo, Readers!!!!  At long last, your dreams have come true and your prayers have been answered (no, not that prayer - vulgar).

Adam and Ever were made for each other.  No, literally.  Adam was mutilated in order that Eve might be borne from his rib and some dirt and bat whiskers and troll's teeth and hate.  Adam immediately recognized that Eve was totally smooshable so he got it in right off the bat. 

The couple had two sons, Cain and Abel, who had a pretty strained relationship with each other (but that's another story for another blog post).  Eve was pretty into woodland creatures and stuff, so she started a mild affair with this snake, but it was only a slight indiscretion so Adam was like, "Whatevz" about it.  But then the snake was all, "Here, you guys gotta try this apple.  I'm tellin' you, this is the good shit, you guys."  So, of course they had to have a taste.  Well, turns out that was God's good shit and he wasn't into the whole sharing thing.  So he smited them.  He smited them but good!

I'm pretty sure they died still married, but I'm guessing they had some irreconcilable differences. 

Posted by Havilah

It's an unseasonably warm day (60 degrees) in the Big Apple today, so I decided it was an appropriate time to talk about the climate.  Since the dawn of time (1988) scientists have argued the validity and/or severity of global warming and it's effect (affect?  I never know) on the Earth's climate/environment.  In more recent years - particularly since bags by famous designers are openly and decidedly not plastic and Al Gore became a real deal hobnobber in Hollywood - those who have any argument or disagreement, no matter how small, with the fact (FACT) that the world is melting and it's because of our asses (and cows' asses) have been ignored, professionally scorned, laughed at, brought before the Grand Inquisition and sometimes taken to an auto-da-fé for a ritual burning.

Well!  The Wall Street Journal says it's time to let those people fly their freak flags and the world should hear their cry.  Fan-fucking-tastic, I say.  Ever since seeing an episode of Bullshit about global warming years ago, I've raised an eyebrow or two at the hysteria around the whole mishigas (despite my public loathing of Penn Jillette - ew). According to the WSJ article, I'm not alone.  Many scientists (the article is signed by 16 distinguished scientists) are beginning to voice their scientific and no doubt super smart observations which indicate that perhaps we're all freaking out just a little more than need be. 

Did you know the globe we live on has not, in fact (FACT), warmed any in the last 10 years?  None at all.  Huh.  Some say the climate changes that brought all this mess up in the first place are actually not all that unusual in the context of the past thousand years.  Interesting. 

It's worth thinking about, is all I'm saying, Dear Readers.

Posted by Havilah